Sarah & Tim
Filed under: Conflict, EFT, Emotions, Marriage, Relationship Patterns
“Sarah’s message is urgent but Tim doesn’t get it. He finds her “too emotional.” But that is the point. We are never more emotional than when our primary love relationship is threatened. Sarah desperately needs to reconnect with Tim. Tim is desperately afraid that he has lost that intimacy with Sarah — connection is vital to him as well. But his need for connection is masked by talk of compromise and growing up. He tries to dismiss Sarah’s concerns to keep everything “calm and on track.” Can they begin to emotionally “hear” each other again? Can they be tuned in once more? ….” (Hold Me Tight, Johnson, 2008, p. 41)
Why do marriages fail?
Filed under: Conflict, Counseling, Divorce, EFT, Emotions, Marriage
The following quote is from Hold Me Tight:
“When marriages fail, it is not increasing conflict that is the cause. It is decreasing affection and emotional responsiveness, according to a landmark study by Ted Huston of the University of Texas. Indeed, the lack of emotional responsiveness rather than the level of conflict is the best predictor of how solid a marriage will be five years into it. The demise of marriages begins with a growing absence of responsive intimate interactions. The conflict comes later.” (Johnson, 2008, p. 38)
If you live in Southern California and would like more help reconnecting with your partner, please click here.
Married Life in Lake Forest
Filed under: Biblical Principles, Marriage, Marriage Ministries
Married Life: Couples Small Group Ministry @ Saddleback Church of Lake Forest: When it comes to describing a good marriage it seems like everyone has an opinion but few seem to be moving forward with purpose. We believe that God has given us His purpose for marriage in Scripture which, built on a lifelong commitment, provides us with one of life’s greatest opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.
To help you grow your marriage we have put together a plan that you can follow that will help you make time for one another, get the big picture, learn the skills, connect in transition, and join other couples on the journey of building your marriage on purpose. (Pastor Todd Olthoff is pictured above.)
OC Churches Unite to Save Marriage
The following is from The Orange County Register updated 5:00 p.m. PT, Tues., May. 20, 2008
Couples wanting to strengthen their relationships will get to take marriage classes and attend counseling at one of about 120 Orange County churches, after several local pastors vowed to help people improve marriage skills.
Nearly 100 pastors of several denominations gathered at the Eastside Christian Church to sign a pact asking them to emphasize the importance of marriage education in their congregations.
The idea: when husbands and wives are in healthy relationships, they are less likely to divorce, and they make better parents, said John Erwin (pictured above), project director for the Orange County Marriage Education Initiative. Read more.
What’s it like to be in Couples Counseling?
Many couples who come to us are currently struggling with painful arguments that circle around a few key triggers and issues. Often times, just knowing that you are not alone in this can bring some relief.
EFT is a structured, short-term (8-20 sessions) approach; and if it’s a good fit for you, we’ll hang in there with you as long as you need our help. The process of developing or reestablishing a secure bond involves assessment, cycle de-escalation, re-engagement, and consolidation.
NOTE: Weekly sessions are 75 minutes in length. Research shows that these longer sessions are more productive for couples.
Assessment & Cycle De-escalation
No two couples are alike, and we want to get to know each of your unique personalities and learn how you interact as a couple. Therefore, you and your partner will receive a thorough assessment of your relational dynamics at the beginning of therapy.
Part 1: You and your partner will meet together to explore the issues that bring you to counseling. NOTE: Before the session begins, you will be asked to complete the forms below. (If you prefer, you may download the forms now, print, complete, and bring them with you to your first session.)
- Couple Information
- Consent for Couples Therapy Consultation
- Release of Confidentiality for Couple Therapy
Part 2: Your second session will be split between you and your partner. Prior to your second appointment, you will need to complete the Life Functioning Inventory. (You may download it now, respond to the questions, and bring the completed form with you.) While your counselor is meeting with your spouse, you will be completing the Couple Assessment Questionnaires, which will be provided when you arrive for your appointment.
Part 3: Your counselor will meet with you both to review the results of your assessment and answer any questions you may have about the counseling process and and your goals. If EFT is a good fit for you, you will continue with the process of de-escalation.
Re-engagement & Consolidation
It feels pretty good when the fighting doesn’t happen as often, and couples begin to enjoy one another more.
When you’re ready, we’ll help you move into the last two stages of healing and growing your relationship.
By completing the process, you can help assure your continued growth and the enjoyment of your relationship, not just for today, but for the rest of your life!
Ready to schedule an appointment?
Creating Connection Before You Marry
Filed under: Biblical Principles, Counseling, Dating, Engaged, Marriage, Relationship Patterns
You’ve heard that “an ounce of prevention equals a pound of cure”? That’s why we designed our premarital program — to help you recognize and resolve issues and problems that could get in the way of your growing love for one another.
Unlike many premarital programs, Creating Connection is based both on sound biblical principles and the findings of marital research. It is uniquely tailored to fit your individual personalities — to help you and your future spouse understand the dynamics and development of your relationship as you begin your new life together. Read more
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