Seeing Eye to Eye
Filed under: Conflict, Female Point of View, Male Point of View
Results of a study conducted by Dr. Deborah Tannen, Georgetown University professor and expert in communication, revealed that girls of all ages preferred face-to-face conversations. Conversely, boys preferred to have conversations in a side-by-side configuration, rarely making eye contact.
So how does this play out during conflict?
For men, the face-to-face approach can make him feel like he’s being challenged. Internally, he prepares to defend himself. And, as every football fan knows, the best defense is a good offense.
For women, the side-by-side approach often feels like he doesn’t care. If she feels like she’s being ignored, she’ll “hit” harder with her words, trying to get him to respond to her.
What Do Women Want?
Filed under: Communication, Female Point of View, Gender Differences, Male Point of View
Sometimes women can be very direct about what they want, but should you believe them? Maybe “yes” and maybe “no.”
The key word here is “maybe.” For women, communication is all about relationship. Interacting with one another. Leaving room for one another.
For example, you’re on a road trip. She says, “Do you want to stop and get something to eat?” You’re not hungry, so you say, “No.” Simple question. Simple answer. Right?
Wrong. She’s saying she’s hungry and wants to stop and get something to eat. She’s just leaving room for you to have your input … sort of. She wants you to hear that she’s hungry. She wants to know if you’re hungry, too.
The bottom line is she wants you to stop and get her something to eat. Once you master her logic (i.e., decode her words), you’ll eliminate a lot of hurt feelings … and probably quite a few arguments as well.
Men should get free “decoder rings” instead of wedding rings. What a cool idea!
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