If you’re struggling in your relationship today, I have a pretty good idea what it feels like to be where you are. I’ve been there myself. And I didn’t always have the support I needed. Neither of us did.
I’m Dr. Debi, and I speak two languages: “Male” & “Female”
As a woman, I get where women are coming from. Sometimes, we can be amazingly direct in asking for what we want.
At other times, we’re not sure what we want, so we can also be pretty vague.
Most of us have a hard time getting the men we love to understand us. It often feels like they’re just trying to fix us.
So, naturally, I speak “female.”
As the mother of three sons, I’ve spent a lot of time studying the male experience. It’s been a joy to watch my boys grow into men, marry, and become parents themselves. They’ve taught me a lot, and I’m still learning from them.
I’ve also studied the “Psychology Men and Traditional Masculinity” at the graduate and post-doctoral levels, and I’ve taught a university class on this very popular subject. What I’ve learned is that most women don’t have a clue about men’s experience, and that most men don’t know how to explain it.
So I’ve also learned to speak “male.”
And I know that both men & women want romance … whether they readily admit it or not.
I can see it in men’s eyes. And hear it in their voices. Yes, I am female & a verifiable Hopeful Romantic. My video collection is comprised of 99% romance.
As Good As It Gets.
The Cutting Edge.
Dan in Real Life.
Joe vs. the Volcano.
The Mask of Zorro.
Pride and Prejudice.
The Runaway Bride.
The Shop Around the Corner.
Sense and Sensibility.
Shall We Dance?
Sleepless in Seattle.
Something’s Gotta Give.
What Women Want.
When Harry Met Sally.
Here’s what we learn from RomComs:
- We all love the “meet cute” at the beginning of the movie. It reminds us of the hope and joy we experience at the beginning of a relationship.
- Next, the boy wins the girl … or at least gets her attention. Then he screws something up … or at least she thinks he did. And the rest is about getting her back. Which takes less than 2 hours, of course.
- We’re set up from the start to believe they will get together and live happily ever after. It’s the way love’s meant to be.
But there’s more to it than that, right?
Because our own love stories usually include our fair share of painful chapters. And – as we know in real life – love takes more than 2 hours to develop.
Furthermore … because, despite popular belief, it isn’t always the guy who screws things up.
That’s why I love my work.
I get to help couples figure out what has gone wrong with their relationship.
But most of all …
- I love helping the boy win back the girl, and
- I love helping the girl realize her heart’s desire.
Yes, marriage counseling can be a romantic experience.
I’ve watched it happen over & over!
And I’m here to help you, too!
I am a Licensed Psychologist (PSY21711). I earned a Bachelor of Arts (BA) from MidAmerica Nazarene University, then moved to Southern California to begin graduate school. My Master of Arts (MA) and Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) degrees were awarded by Rosemead School of Psychology – Biola University.
Ongoing training in helping couples has included PREPARE/ENRICH, Imago Therapy, PREP, and an externship in Emotionally-Focused Therapy with Couples.
For information about Fees and Services offered, schedule a free 30-minute video consultation. I’m here to help.