The Word became flesh and lived for awhile among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. ~ John 1:14
Are you a safe person? What is a safe person? According to Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, a safe person does three things:
- Draws us closer to God. (See Matthew 22:37-38.)
- Draws us closer to others. (See Matthew 22:39.)
- Helps us become the real person God created us to be. (See Ephesians 2:10.)
The following are descriptions of “Safe People” (p. 144):
- A person who accepts me just as I am.
- A person who loves me no matter how I am bing or what I do.
- A person whose influence develops my ability to love and be responsible.
- Someone who creates love and good works within me.
- Someone who gives me an opportunity to grow.
- Someone who increases love within me.
- Someone I can be myself around.
- Someone who allows me to be on the outside what I am on the inside.
- Someone who helps me to deny myself for others.
- Someone who allows me to become the me that God intended.
- Someone who helps me become the me God sees in me.
- Someone whose life touches mine and leaves me the better for it.
- Someone who touches my life and draws me closer to who God created me to be.
- Someone who helps me be like Christ.
- Someone who helps me to love others more.
Of course, Jesus is the best example of a “safe person.” He is the perfect example of grace and truth (John 1:14) that we all need to give and receive in a safe relationship.
- The word grace “implies unconditional love and acceptance with no condemnation.” It communicates “that you are accepted just like you are and that you will not be shamed or incur wrath for whatever you are experiencing” (p. 145).
- The word truth means “we can speak the truth to one another, confronting each other as needed. Grace and the absence of condemnation allow us to do this with less fear than would occur in a condemning relationship” (p. 146)
Do you offer daily grace (unmerited favor) to your partner? Do you speak the truth about your feelings to your partner without condemning him or her? Read more about why we need to have and be safe people in Safe People: How to find relationships that are good for you and avoid those that aren’t!
