My dentist has a poster on the ceiling at his office. He put it there so his patients would have something to look at while they’re in the chair. I think about it sometimes because it reminds me of myself. It’s a picture of a tiny kitten looking up helplessly from the bottom of large…
Read MoreCategory: Relationship Patterns
Predicting Divorce
We know that the first marriage wasn’t always a Garden-of-Eden experience, right? The first couple had their share of problems (see Genesis 3 and beyond), and contemporary couples do, too. It usually doesn’t take long for couples to figure out that marriage is challenging, if not down right difficult at times. In fact, the number…
Read MoreReally Bad News for Your Relationship
Have you ever let your anger get the best of you? Debra Barone (of the TV series “Everybody Loves Raymond”) is forever frustrated with her husband, Ray. And it’s no wonder. He’s forever doing dumb stuff. Even so, she’s not very supportive. She not only criticizes him (like his mother does), she also puts him…
Read MoreQ & A: Why Does He Just Sit There?
Question: My boyfriend and I have been arguing a lot lately. He just doesn’t get it. Nothing gets resolved, and I am so frustrated with him! Now when I try to bring the issue up, he just ignores me. I can’t get him to talk at all! Why does he just sit there? Answer: The…
Read MoreWhat to do when your spouse won’t go to counseling
advice from Michael & Amy Smalley This is not an uncommon issue couples have when their marriage gets stressed out. My first bit of advice is to relax and take a deep breath. You are not the only person on the planet who’s spouse will not go to counseling. Do not feel ashamed, embarrassed, or isolated….
Read MoreCouple Communication: Lesson #1
by Dr. Debi Smith We women thrive on conversation. Is it any wonder we want to have real, meaningful conversations with the men we love? We want to share our secrets, our dreams, and the details of our days with those who are close to us. When something’s bothering us, we want to talk about…
Read MoreIdentity & Attachment
Identity: You Were Designed by God I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my…
Read MoreSecurely Attached
How well couples fare depends greatly on the security of their attachment. According to Dr. Susan Johnson, the bottom line for both men and women is the answer to the question, “Will you be there when I need you?“ Throughout life, both men and women need someone who is accessible (will you be there) and…
Read MoreHappy Couples
The following is a summary of marriage research conducted by Dr. John Gottman. Read more about Dr. Gottman’s work in The Relationship Cure. Happy couples respond positively to one another. Partners continually make “bids” for each other’s attention, closeness, and reassurance through comments, questions, and/or gestures. In successful marriages, spouses responded positively to these bids…
Read MoreAnd they lived happily ever after . . .
At least that’s what both men and women hope for when they marry. All truth is God’s truth. The Bible is God’s special revelation to us. General revelations are available to anyone who cares to notice what happens in the world. Marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman has been studying couple relationships for more than 20…
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