Sometimes women can be very direct about what they want, but should you believe them? Maybe “yes” and maybe “no.”
The key word here is “maybe.” For women, communication is all about relationship. Interacting with one another. Leaving room for one another.
For example, you’re on a road trip. She says, “Do you want to stop and get something to eat?” You’re not hungry, so you say, “No.” Simple question. Simple answer. Right?
Wrong. She’s saying she’s hungry and wants to stop and get something to eat. She’s just leaving room for you to have your input … sort of. She wants you to hear that she’s hungry. She wants to know if you’re hungry, too.
The bottom line is she wants you to stop and get her something to eat. Once you master her logic (i.e., decode her words), you’ll eliminate a lot of hurt feelings … and probably quite a few arguments as well.
Men should get free “decoder rings” instead of wedding rings. What a cool idea!
I’m reminded of King Solomon’s sage recommendation (circa 1000 B.C.) that… “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips!” He suggests that simple, direct and transparent communication is a thing of delightful, connecting intimacy.
More recently, the English poet and novelist Evelyn Underhill (1875 – 1941) wrote that…
We are far from realising all that human spirits can do for one another on spiritual levels if they will pay the price; how truly and really our souls interpenetrate, and how impossible and un-Christian it is to “keep ourselves to ourselves.”
What a powerful invitation to take risks toward greater intimacy in our love relationships!
Best wishes to you in your work and writing in this area.
Kind regards,
Dr. T. Sellick