If you have been devastated by your husband’s sexual betrayal—whether an isolated incident or a long-term pattern of addiction—you need to know you don’t have to live as a victim. If you choose to stay in your marriage, you have options other than punishing, tolerating, or ignoring your spouse; in fact, extraordinary growth awaits a woman willing to deal with the pain of her husband’s struggles with sexual purity. Even if a spouse will not participate in a program for healing, a woman who has been sexually betrayed can change her own life in powerful and permanent ways.
This sensitive guide provides practical tools to help you make wise and empowering decisions, emotional tools to develop greater intimacy in your life, and spiritual tools to transform your suffering. Debra Laaser’s personal journey through betrayal, her extensive work with hundreds of hurting women, and her intimate marriage two decades after the disclosure of her husband’s infidelity provide meaningful answers to the questions that arise amid the complex fallout of broken vows.
The pain endured from sexual betrayal can break your heart, but it does not need to break your life.
About the Author
Debra Laaser has her BS from Iowa State University. She started and ran a national company for over twenty years, becoming president and CEO of its operations. She currently works full time with her husband, Mark, at their counseling center, and is the author of Shattered Vows. Debra and Mark currently reside in Minnesota and have three grown children.
Eye openingThank-you Debbie for writing this, this has been a very healing book. I wouldn’t have asked for adultery in my marriage. But what Satan plans for evil, God can turn out for good. My husband and I have learned so much more about each other through this. Now we can use the new ways we’ve learned to make better parents and spouses. It feels so good to let go of my control to God and actually feel my feelings other than stuffing them! There is hope, I pray you will feel it in your marriage too!
Betrayal is not the end
Have you been crushed by your husband’s infidelity? Do you wonder if you can ever heal from the pain and have the marriage you dream of having? I have read a lot of books on healing from this pain, and this is an excellent resource. It has a different perspective from a woman who has been where you are. Her life was turned upside down by her husband’s betrayal. Her path to healing is shared here, and you can take benefit enormously from her advice here. She strongly encourages every woman who is experiencing this pain to find a support group and work through the pain with the love and care of other women. You will greatly benefit from this book. Don’t hesitate to pick it up and find out what you can learn and what God can do to transform your heart and your marriage.
Finally, someone talking about saving a marriage in spite of the adversitiesA very helpful book for women (or anyone) who has been sexually betrayed by a loved one. Debra shares her most intimate story of her own betrayal and the amazing road back to forgiveness and grace.
Debra shares what she’s learned about her relationship and herself through a time she describes as “crash and burn.” She shares with us her own personal recovery and outlines helpful tools and information for anyone who has been hurt in relationships. Her insights can help you understand and deal with the situation you may find yourself.
This book gives couples hope for the future, hope for their own relationship, and healing of wounds for the present hurt but also the past hurt we have experienced just living life. She and her husband, Mark, did not take the easy way out and get divorced. She chose marriage and commitment when so many others may have been encouraged them to leave the relationship.
She talks about many things, but to mention a few:
~ do I stay or go?
~ how can I learn about myself when it’s his fault?
~ is forgiveness possible and when do I forgive?
~ should I continue to be sexual with him?
Recovery is certainly not painfree. However, her marriage is still in tact and lovingly restored for a bright future of togetherness. For that, I praise her courage and strength.
Many of the ideas and strategies she’s learned she has used to help hundreds of other women going through similar tragedies. Take advantage of her hope and healing and her tools to get through your own difficulties. I know I will definitely recommend this book to my clients in similar situations.
Retrieved October 25, 2008, from Amazon.com.