Mike & Harriet McManus can be invited to conduct a Marriage Enrichment Weekend on a Friday night from 6:30 to 9 p.m. and on Saturday from 8:30 to 4 pm. They do so using REFOCCUS, a marital inventory, for discussion of items like these:
- We have difficulty discussing how the reality of our current life differs from our dreams
- We have identified and discussed those things which most nourish our relationship
- We mutually agree on our sexual activity and practices
- My spouse has expectations of me that are unrealistic or unfair
- I find it difficult to say “I am sorry” to my spouse
The inventory costs only $10 per couple and is designed so that it can be scored immediately, thus facilitating dialogue. Couples can quickly see which issues need discussion. Further, each item on the inventory has a series of follow-up questions which make it easy to talk about normally sensitive topics.
For example, after the item, “I am not comfortable discussing with my spouse how physical changes in us affect our relationship,” here are some of the discussion queries: “What physical changes do you notice about yourself? about the other? How have your physical changes affected you, your behaviors, your wants, needs, desires (i.e., pregnancy, weight change, illness, disability, aging)? What fears do you have about change? Can you share what these changes mean to you and to others?”
Before each of five sections (Marriage as a Process, Intimacy, Communication, Commitment & Compatibility) Mike and Harriet share stories of their own marriage of 42 years, being honest about how they fell short at times and overcame various problems. Their goal is to be so transparent that participating couples are encouraged to be transparent with each other.
Marriage Savers, Inc.
9311 Harrington Dr.
Potomac, MD 20854
Phone: (301) 469-5873